*A Soulful Relationship*
by Reverend Ronald McFadden
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married
couples.. and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, " Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust,
desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low
self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool
yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really
important.
You decide to commit to someone, over time their
flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences
will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother
you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs,
values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals
who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise
with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring
to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or
her. You can't make someone love you or make someone
stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness
are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the
wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks,
some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal,
shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice e message on
their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving
each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to
have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other
a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try
to control one another. Learn each other's family situation.
Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities
are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal,
abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
" Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher
than you think."
The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:8
Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight.
Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The difference
between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
" Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones "
Proverbs 16:24
I never thought that we would break up for the better
Should've never made the promises to each other
So many things I should've said that you didn't know
Coming in from a past with a heavy load
Searchin' my mind, trying to figure it out
And thought I was happy but I'm having some doubts
Think I found the answer and I know I must confess
I'm still in love with my ex
And I wasn't ready when I said that I liked you
And in my heart, I know that I gotta tell you
I shouldn't have gone from a situation to the next
I'm still in love with my ex
Every moment that I stayed, I dug a deeper hole
I was with you but my heart wouldn't let him go
I'm so sorry for the pain I put you through
But you shouldn't have to suffer cause I'm confused
So much for looking forward to future plans
Lost the love of my life and I lost a friend
I made my mistakes, tossed my dirt to the side
Everytime we meet I see the hurt in his eyes
Cause I'm an ex-friend, ex-homey, ex-lover
So stop the phone calls, voicemails, etc.
Man, just forget the day I ever met ya...
It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit
When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience
Now it's too late, we got a little life together
and in my mind I really want to be your wife forever
But in the physical it's like you gonna be trife forever
A different girl every night forever; told me to leave
but I'm stubborn and I love him and,
no matter what despite all the fuckin and the cheatin,
I still won't leave him, now I'm grievin
And I feel bad, believe me
But I'm young and I ain't ready, and this ain't easy
Wasn't fair to tell me to wait, so you told me to skate
I chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through
Don't wanna fight, don't wanna fuss, Want to be the mother of your baby
I don't want you to hate me, this is about us
Rather me; I ain't ready to be what you want me to be
Because I love you, I want you to leave, please.
Let me hold you,
Let me touch you
Soon I'll Understand...
" LOVE is giving him the power to DESTROY yu, but trusting him NOT TO! "
Everything I knew, everything that I was is gone.
Going through a great deal of change and I don't think Im going to like it.
I miss what I knew, I miss what Im used to, I MISS WHO I WAS!
YOU choose not to change but expected me to change.
YOU choose to continuing doing what yu do but expect me to be okay with it!
YOU choose to let me go and expect me to be here when YOU want to come back.
YOU choose to stop loving me but EXPECT ME TO STILL LOVE YOU!
YOU CHOOSE NOT TO STAY BUT EXPECT ME TO STAY AND WAIT FOR YOU.
I was a damn fool and took you back NUMEROUS TIMES!
I was a damn fool and left a better man FOR YOU
I was a damn fool and DROPPED MY LIFE AND WHO I WAS FOR YOU
I was a damn fool and cut my friends off BECAUSE YU WANTED ME TOO
I was a damn fool and waited for you
I was a damn fool and DID EVERYTHING YU SAID!
I was a damn fool and thought you would change
I was a damn fool FOR NOT SEEING WHO YOU REALLY WERE
and most important I was a DAMN FOOL and BELIEVED in ALL YOUR DAMN LIES!
I let yu win by crying
I let yu win by feeling hurt
I let yu win by being jealous
I let yu win by loosing trust in people
I let yu win by being bitter
I let yu win by always thinking about yu
I let yu win by constantly taking you back
I let yu win by knowing I would always be here for you
I let yu win by still loving you!
BUT NO LONGER WILL YOU WIN,
NO LONGER WILL I BE that DAMN FOOL,
AND NO LONGER WILL IT ALWAYS BE YOU!!
Im finally letting go, Its gonna be hard but I WILL do it
Im finally letting go, Its gonna hurt but IT WILL heal
Im finally letting go, I forgive you but ..... Im through
OVER AND DONE WITH, FINISHED, FINIT-O, COMPLET-O, NO MORE-O
FROM NOW ON ITS GONNA BE ABOUT ME LIKE HOW IT USED TO BE,
BEFORE ME AND YOU EVER EXISTED!
I'M GOING BACK TO THE OLD ME THE BETTER ME, WHEN I WAS ALWAYS HAPPY
I'M GOING BACK TO THE OLD ME THE BETTER ME, WHEN I WAS ALWAYS SMILING
I'M GOING BACK TO THE OLD ME THE BETTER ME, WHEN I WAS ALWAYS LAUGHING
I'M GOING BACK TO THE OLD ME THE BETTER ME, WHEN I WAS DRAMA FREE
* IM GOING BACK TO THE OLD ME THE BETTER BITCH, NOT THE NEW ME THE BITTER BITCH *
BUT I THANK YOU FOR THE EXPERIENCE IT HELPED ME, I LEARNED FROM IT, GOT STRONGER FROM IT.
BYE BYE LOVE, I'm not lovin' yu, the way I wanted to
I know I said I'm through, but got love for you.
but even though I still love you, it HAS to end.
this phase will soon be over!
...... you lose.
bye
